Echoes In My Brain
by HeyThereItsJustMeAndNowYou
Summary: Zoe, the youngest Benedict and Zed's twin, wakes up trapped in a room with absolutely no idea how she got there. Will her family be able to help her? Will they get to her in time or will something else go wrong? The adorable overprotective Benedict brothers who we all wish were real.
1. Chapter 1

**ZOE's P.O.V.**

"Zoe, where are you?"

It's been hours and my brothers' worried voices still echoed in my head.

To answer their question, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever. In my defence there was no way of forseeing what was about to happen. To be fair there was quite a few things I couldn't rebember at this point. I have no idea how I got here, who I was with or where I was. The only clue I got were the darkness seen through the small window just under the ceiling which ment a couple of things. One, I have been here for hours, and two, I wasn't here voluntarily.

The last thing I recall is getting upset about something at home and storming out heading who knows where. All seven of my overprotective brothers immediately invaded my mind telepathically asking me where I went and checking if something was wrong. At that time I was rather annoyed by them, but now -.

Now I would give anything to have their voices screaming in my head. No matter how far they were, I knew they were listening.

I had to try.


	2. Chapter 2

**ZED's P.O.V.**

 _Zed?_ It was quiet, but it made me jump upright and throw Xav, who was (until then) half asleep with his head on my lap, on the floor.

"Ouch! What the-" he looked at me as puzzled as everyone else in the room.

"It's Zoe. I can feel her presence again." I cut him off. Now everyone was standing up and rushing towards me.

"Okay, everyone get off the line and let Zed talk to her alone. We don't want to overload the connection" mom warned my brothers before they got a chance to attack our baby sister all at the same time. "Go on, Zed. Take your time."

 _Zoe? Are you there?_

At first the only answer I got was terrifying silence. And then the most beautiful voice clouded my head.

 _Zed? Zed, I'm okay. I promise. But I'm scared, please help me._

 _Zoe. Thank god. Are you hurt?_

 _Get me out of here! Please, hurry!_

I could tell she was freaking out and it broke my heart into a million pieces.

 _Where are you, munchkin?_

 _I- I don't- I can't remember anything. Zed, please. I need you._

I swear I could feel my heart crack. My little sister was out there somewhere, scared and possibly injured, and right now I had no way of helping her other then trying to calm her.

 _It's okay. It's okay. You'll be fine. We'll find you. I promise. Just hang in there. Breathe. Tell me everything you know so we can help you._

 _Um, I was- I found out something and got upset, so I rushed out and just started walking, and then everything goes blank. Next thing I know I'm in this dark basement room with one tiny window covered with bars and it's dark outside, which means I must have been here for hours-_

She was starting to hyperventilate more and more, which got me even more worried. If that was even possible at this point.

 _Noone came, Zed. And- I can't- there's nothing here, I- I'm- it's too-_

I knew she was crying now. I could hear it in her voice. My brave sister, who very rarely cried.

 _Shhh, it's okay. Just breathe. You'll be okay. Listen, why don't you talk to Xav while I let everyone else know what you just told me? Is that okay?_

 _Yeah- yeah, okay._ She was sobbing.

 _I love you, munchkin. We'll get you out._

 _Love you too._

I cut her off still keeping an eye on her breathing rythm, which seemed to be getting faster and faster, and kind of irregular.

"Xav, you need to talk to her. She's freaked out." I ureged my older brother, aka the healer of the family, who my twin sister happened to adore.

"What?! Is she hurt? Did she seem confused?"

"Of course she's confused! She has no idea where she is! What do you expect?!"

Everyone in the room was visibly scared and pale, and judging by Victor's arm that appeared on my shoulder and pushed me into a sitting position on the couch I didn't look much better.

 _Don't let it get to you. Breathe. We need you. She needs you._

Victor was trying his best to calm me down. Instead of replying I gave him and the rest of my family, who were obviously aware of what was going on, a little nod. They were right to worry. Normally I wouldn't have screamed in my brother's face like that, but I was scared. Xav gave me a worried look, to which I replied with a half-smile. He then switched to talking to Zoe telepathically, while I tried my best to explain the little information we had on the princess of our family.

 **ZOE's P.O.V.**

 _Honey, are you alright?_

That was Xav. Was I? Hell no. Of course I wasn't alright, but panicking and making my brothers even more worried in the process seemed like a bad idea. However, full-on lying to Xav seemed like an equally bad idea at this point.

 _I- I don't know, Xav_ I replied to him and cried some more. I could tell he was trying to keep it together for me. He inhaled slowly and continued a bit calmer.

 _Are you hurt? Can you see any injuries?_

 _No. Other than a few tiny cuts. Allthough, I think I must have been out for a few hours before I woke up here._

 _Okay. Are you dizzy or lightheaded?_

 _Nothing I can't take._

 _So that's a yes. I need to ask you some questiones, okay?_

I nodded although he couldn't see that.

 _Can you tell me your full name?_

 _What? Don't be ridiculo-_

 _Just do it._ He cut me off. I knew he was trying to asses whether I had a concussion or not. _I mustn't let you fall asleep if you have a head injury, therefore I need you to cooperate._

 _Zoe Noelle Benedict._

 _What day is it?_

 _Thursday, April 6th._

 _Ok, now what's the-_

 _Xav! I don't need this. I need you to come here and help me!_

 _I know, hon-_

 _What if these people come back and kill me? The freaking concussion won't matter then, will it?_ My breaths were coming in sharp and I was starting to wheeze. I'm sure Xav could tell too.

 _Okay, okay. Shhh. Just breathe. We'll find you. We always do._

That made me cry. I wanted to see them all so bad. I needed their bear-like-hugs.

 _Alright, honey. If it seems safe enough just lay down flat on your side and try to get some rest, okay?_

 _Mhm._ And with that I wondered off into a semi-consciouss state.

 **ZED's P.O.V.**

Xav joined our passionate conversation regarding where our sister was, which ment he was done talking to her. I stopped talking mid sentence and looked at him, expecting him to tell me something. Anything.

"I told her to try and get some rest."

"Is she hurt?" mom asked.

"I can't say for sure. She might have a mild concussion, but nothing too bad as far as I can tell. I'll check on her again later."

"Okay, that's good." Victor said and squeezed my shoulder. "So, Zed, you said she was upset about something. Any idea what?"

I shook my head not trusting my voice.

"I could try to hack her-" Yves spoke next, but I cut him off.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. She didn't say what it was, but judging by how upset she was, I doubt it had anything to do with this."

 _How're you holding up?_ Xav checked in on me.

 _Honestly... I don't even know. If something were to happen to her, Xav, I would kill-_

 _Stop. Don't think like that. We'll find her. Get your head in the game._

For being a total douchebag most of the time, Xav sure knew when I needed some bro-to-bro talk. And he alway seemed to know exactly what to say. To be honest we were the most alike out of all of the siblings. _Thanks, Xav._

 _Don't go all soft on me. I might get worried._

There was the idiot I knew and loved.


	3. Chapter 3

**ZED's P.O.V.**

I woke up to a pounding headache and a stiff neck thanks to the fact that I fell asleep on the couch. I could hear a conversation going on in the kitchen and everything happening the previous couple of days came flooding in. I jumped upright only to feel extremely dizzy. Will, who had appeared three seconds before (after sensing danger considering me), was in front of me, steadying me by grabbing my biceps.

"He's dizzy" Xav's voice coming from the door made my head pound. Aparently my shields were down and he was able to see what was happening inside me.

"Sit down" Will said and gently pushed me back on the couch.

After my vision returned to normal I could see them both crouching in front of me with worried expressions.

"You back with us?" Xav asked.

"I need to go find her" I mumbled while getting up again. This time my vision became a total blurr and before I knew it, hands were catching me and forcing me to lie down.

"Dude, will you just relax? Or do I have to let you pass out first?" obviously that was Xav aswell. "Go get him some juice" he instructed Will. I was trying to come up with a good comeback, but my brain wasn't functioning. Xav's fingers were on my wrist checking my pulse, but I didn't have the energy to oppose. In the meantime Will must have returned and he brought Vic with him too. Great.

"Here, drink this" Xav helped me lift my head and pushed a glass of orange juice under my nose.

"I'm not drinking this" I tried to say loudly, but it came out as a whisper.

"Yes, you are, idiot. You went days without sleep and with very little food.What'd you expect would happen? You're exhausted and your blood sugar is nowhere to be found. You're drinking the damn juice."

"Well, can't you just fix me?"

"I am." There really was no point in arguing, because I was tired and Vic was there and without my shields up I was bound to lose, so I drank it. Xav put my head back on the pillow and a warm blanket appeared over my body. Why was I here again? I was so confused.

Zoe.

And there I was, whirling under the blanket trying to get up for the third time today. I didn't get very far though. Within seconds my brothers had me pinned down on the couch.

"He needs to sleep or he's gonna end up at the hospital" Xav told Vic.

"Alright" he replied and entered my head. My shields were useless, so it didn't take much effort to talk my brain into listening.

Before you could say Jack Robinson the whirling stopped and I was asleep.

 **ZED's P.O.V.**

I woke up late in the afternoon, feeling much better than before. Xav was sitting on the sofa looking at me.

"The idiot awakes. How are you feeling?"

"Shut up." I answered.

"Alright. Since your shields are still down and I can _see_ that you're fine, I have some information for you. You might wanna get your ass up _slowly_. We think we know where she is."

"What?! Why are we still here then?" I jumped up way too fast and almost lost my balance.

"To be fair, I did say 'get up _slowly_ '. And to answer your question we were going to let you sleep through everything, since you almost passed out on us, and have someone watch you, but now that you're awake I guess you can come."

"I mean, why didn't you already leave?! We're wasting time she might not have!"

"Relax. Trace and Vic went to get everything ready, we're leaving as soon as they get back, so go to the kitchen and eat something."

Okay, that made sense, so I decided to for once listen to my brother.

Ten minutes later we were driving away. I was nervous. Hopefully we would get there in time. There was no way to tell. I haven't spoken to Zoe since the day she went missing. When Xav tried to check in on her, she wouldn't reply. It's been five days now and we still haven't heard from her. Xav said it might be because of her concussion, which could make her head hurt whenever she used telepathy, or something else might be blocking it, or she might be unconscious. Or dead for that matter. None of these seemed like good choices, but to be fair some were silghtly better than others.

 _She'll be fine._

 _And what if she's not, Xav?_

 _She will be. An hour from now this will a be over, so try not to get yourself killed in the meantime._

We were interrupted by the GPS telling us we have reached our final destionation. For some reason the word _final_ always seemed kind of harsh when we were on missions. Everyone got out of the car and we were standing in front of a six stories high abandoned warehouse.

"Alright. Noone should be here, but just in case... Trace and Xav you go in and get Zoe. The rest of us will stay outside keeping an eye out."

"Forget it, I'm going in there" I disagreed with Vic's plan.

"No, you aren't. We're not risking you passing out on us in there. Be happy we even brought you with us at all" he answered obviously pissed.

"I'm her twin! She needs me! And I need her" I was trying to negotiate.

"Which is exactly why you're staying out here. She would kill us if anything were to happen to you" Yves cut in more reasonably than Vic.

"Let me remind you we're wasting time" Vic continued and I felt like getting into a fist fight with him, so I decided not to reply just to be on the safe side.

"You two done?" Xav urged us, so we took our positions.

 _I'll take care of her. Don't worry._ Xav said as he kicked in the front door and headed down the hall with Trace on his heels. Vic and I guarded the front entrance, while Will, Yves and Uri stood by the back one. Minutes passed and my patience left with them.

 _Zoe?_ I tried with telepathy, hoping to get a reply which would calm me down. Nothing. I couldn't feel her at all. That was it. I needed to see for myself if she was okay, so I darted through the door after the two of my brothers. Vic was yelling after me, but I didn't care. I reached a door and entered a dark room with no windows. There was another open door on the opposite side. This must be where they went, so I didn't bother to check.

Before I reached the door, something grabbed be from behind and threw me at the wall. It knocked the wind out of me and I crumpled to the floor gasping. I was going to die if I didn't do anything, so I jumped up only to get hit in the back of my head with something hard. That hurt. A lot. I leaned back against the wall trying to steady myself when I felt a knee connect with my abdomen. And then again. And again. I slumped back and my knees gave in. I was now lying on the floor unable to take a proper breath. A shoe connected with my chest a few times and I could feel my ribs crack. There was a sticky fluid on the floor. I realised it was blood dripping from my mouth. With every drop of it my level of consciousness was deteriorating. Fast. I couldn't see a thing, and I could no longer feel the pain of the shoe connecting with my chest. It was almost impossible for me to breathe and my head was spinning.

 _Zoe_ I thought one last time as I slumped to the floor, completely unaware of everything around me.


	4. Chapter 4

**ZOE's P.O.V.**

Suddenly I could hear muffled voices and then the door burst open.

Someone crushed into my side quite painfully before I started shaking. Why was I shaking? Was this a panic attack? No, someone was screaming, but I couldn't understand a thing. There was a padding sensation on my cheek. A buzzing sound in my head was starting to really annoy me and the hunger and pain were exhausting. I just wanted to sleep some more before I-

"-ey! Wake up! Zoe, please open your eyes, lil one."

Trace? What was Trace doing in my bed? Wait, no, this wasn't right. I could feel the cold floor under my back. The warehouse! I was missing! Geez, I was so out of it.

"Xav! Get in here!"

His screams made my head pound. I should probably stop him, before he decided to freak out some more.

"Wake up, Zoe! Show me those blue eyes of yours" his attention turned back to me.

The sound of running steps could only mean that another brother of mine showed up.

"Oh my god... what the hell? Zoe?" Xav's alarmed voice made my head hurt even worse and soon his warm hands were feeling my neck and wrist for a pulse. Did I really look that bad? I could tell Xav was kind of hyperventilating and Trace's words telling him to 'try and calm down because I was in fact breathing' confirmed my assumptions. That was it. I was not going to torture my brothers even more than I already had. With quite a bit of effort I managed to make my eyelids flutter.

"Zoe? Can you hear me, sweetheart?" Trace tried out loud, while Xav decided to enter my brain instead and ask there. Yeah, yeah, I heard you both. Give me a second.

"Mmhm." That was all I managed to reply to them, but judging by Xav hoisting me upright into a big-brother-type of a hug, that was all they needed.

Thanks to the whole being unconscious thing, my brain was a total mess. I could feel Xav telepathically checking me over for any injuries, and I could feel his musles relax when he didn't find any.

 _Zoe?_ There was a wierd sensation in my brain. Almost like telepathy, but not quite. What on Earth was this?

"Come on, let's get you out of here" he said and lifetd me bridal style, and that's when it hit me. Where in the world was Zed? All of my brothers were very protective of me, especially Xav and Zed, therefore it was almost unnatural for Zed not being here. In fact he would surely rather injure somebody than not be here. There was no keeping him away.

"Where's Zed?" I decided to check with my brothers.

"He's outside making sure noone comes" Trace explained.

 _You might want to let him know you're back from the dead before he completely loses it_ Xav told me telepathically. He was right.

 _Zed? Guess who's back? Before you ask, I'm okay. We're coming out now._ I reached out and waited for his answer, but surprisingly it never came. That was strange.

"Zoe, what's wrong?" Xav was franatically looking at me again. He must have sensed the panic mode waking up inside my chest and thought something was wrong with me.

"He's not answering" my voice broke and both of my brothers exchanged glances. Trace, who had no idea what I was talking about had a rather confused look on his face, but Xav must have filled him in telepathically since a few seconds later his eyes filled with fear and he was in full-on panic mode just like me. He froze in his tracks, probably atempting to speak to Zed, but judging by his lack of happiness he must have failed.

"Vic says he came in after us" he told Xav. Aparently after Zed didn't answer him, he decided to reach out to Vic instead.

"Shit" was all Xav replied.

I pushed myself out of Xav's tight grip and next thing I knew, we were running down the hall fearing what we will find at the end. Just as we reached the door, Xav pushed me behind him to shield me, while Trace pulled his gun out and kicked the door open wide. He jumped in the room only to come to a dead stop and dropping his gun in shock. Xav and I ran past him. I could tell something was terribly wrong by the look on Trace's face, but I needed to see for myself. As soon as I came through the door I saw him.

Zed was lying motionless on the floor in what seemed like a very unnatural and awkward position. Someone was screaming his name. I glanced at Xav who was visibly terrified. And quiet for that matter. Oh, I got it. It was me. I was the one screaming. Xav and I darted towards the crumpled form. I threw myself on the floor right next to Zed, while Xav jumped over to his other side. My hands flew to his shoulders and I was trying to wake him up.

"Zed! Zed, please! Wake up! Zed!"

 _Honey, don't shake him. We need to keep him still just in case._ Xav was in my head again. It made sense for he might be seriously injured. I took hold of his hand instead and decided it was probably best to let Xav examine my twin. He was checking Zed's neck and wrist for a pulse.

 _Shit._ His shields were down, so I could hear his thoughts.

 _What?_ I replied. He looked at me and I could see the panic displayed in his eyes. This was bad. Very bad.

"Trace, call an ambulance" he said out loud this time. After getting no response from our brother he yelled his name again. "Trace! Now!"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm on it." he answered.

Xav was kneeling over Zed, listening to his breathing. Oh my... how bad was it?

"And tell them to step on it" Xav said and answered my unasked question. It was horrible. A few seconds later I could hear Trace talking to someone over the phone.

"He _is_ breathing right?" I asked after I noticed that Zed's chest was in fact not moving. Xav didn't answer. I could tell he was trying not to freak me out even more, by telling me the truth.

"Xav, answer me!" I yelled "I _need_ to know."

He looked at me.

"Yes- yes, he's alive. His pulse is weak and irregular and his breathing's laboured, but he's alive and breathing."

Trace, who was now crouched beside me was visibly shocked by this answer. "They'll be here in 10 minutes" he told Xav refering to the ambulance. Ten minues?! That was-

"I don't now if he can last that long" Xav whispered. He was checking for any obvious injuries.

"How bad is it?" Trace asked.

"I don't- I can't tell- my power is useless unless he's conscious." Brilliant. Could this get any worse? "He hit his head." Well, I guess it could. It was only then that I noticed the blood on Xav's hand the source of which was a gash on the back of Zed's head. He had to be okay. I needed him to be okay. Xav was now forcing Zed's eyelids open one by one. "His pupils are dilated." I kew what that ment without having to ask.

 _Zed?_ I tried telepathically again only to be interrupted by a caughing fit coming from him.

"He's choking. Trace hold his head, we need to turn him on his side." Before I could process what he just said, Trace was already above Zed, holding his head immobilised, while I helped Xav turn him to his right. _Away_ from me. Blood was coming out of Zed's mouth and judging by the lack of panic from Xav, he could see that coming. That must be one of the reasons why he decided to turn Zed his way and not mine. He knew it was about to get bloody. Trying not to make myself sick, I scooched over to help support my brother's desd weight, while Xav was gently padding his back to get more of the blood out.

"That's it, Zed. Caugh it up" he soothed our unconscious brother. Trace kept staring at the blood on the floor, while Xav met my eyes.

"It's okay. He'll be okay." I don't know who Xav was trying to soothe, himself or Trace and I. Either way it wasn't doing any harm so I didn't say anything.

"Xav! Where are you?" that was Vic.

"In here!" he replied.

Suddenly three of my other brothers came running in, which ment this whole situation couldn't have lasted more than two or three minutes. That's about how long it would take Xav to allert them about what was happening and then for them to come inside. Vic rushed towards us trying to help Xav as best as he could. Uri was looking at Trace trying to determine if he was okay, as I realised Yves was asking me if I was hurt, while rubbing my back with one hand. His eyes travelled all over me to notice any possible injuries.

"No, I'm fine." I said loud enough for all of my brothers to hear, so they wouldn't feel the need to check individually.

"How about him?" Yves asked indicating towards Zed. Xav gave them a quick explanation of what he knew, which was obviously not what any of them wanted to hear.

"Damn it. Is he stupid?" Vic was pissed.

"What was he doing anyway?" Yves questioned.

"He lost it and went inside after Trace and Xav. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't leave the entrance unguarded. The next thing I know a man is running past me, holding a metal pipe in his hand. I caught up with him and cuffed him. He's in the car now" my brother explained. Yeah, that sounded very much like something Zed would do. "I should've gone after him..." Vic was blaming himself, even though this obviously wasn't his fault.

"Vic, don't. If you went after him, we could be looking after two unconscious brothers instead of one" my thoughts were interrupted by sirens.

"Finally" Vic said "Will's outside, waiting for them."

Less than minute later paramedics were pushing my brothers away from Zed who was now somewhere between wheezing and not breathing at all. Vic, Uri and Trace quickly moved out of the way to stand next to a shell shocked Will. One of the paramedics took over examining Zed's head, while the other one talked to Xav. Yves was trying to get me to move, but I was not going to let go of Zed as I felt like this was the only thing keeping me from breaking down. I was now screaming at Yves and pushing his hands away from me, which quickly got Xav's attention. Despite my kicking he was soon standing behind me and successfully pulling me a few steps back.

 _Zoe, stop fighting me. It's okay, we'll just stand over here. He's not going anywhere, but you need to let them work._ I knew he was right, but my brain wouldn't listen. Suddenly I noticed one of the paramedics was shoving a tube down my brother's throat.

"Wait, what are you doing?!" I was screaming my heart out. This shouldn't be happening.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's gonna help him breathe" Xav was telling me.

"No! You're hurting him! Stop!" I was kicking and screaming now, causing Xav to wrap his arms around me tightly, pinning me against his body.

"Zoe, honey, stop. It's okay. They're doing the best they can to help him, so you need to calm down." He was whispering in my ear. "We don't need you passing out on us aswell." Yves was now standing in front of me, trying to get me to look in his eyes instead of focusing on whatever the paparamedics were doing to Zed. I could hear a very annoying beep that wouldn't end go off. I knew what it ment and it made me feel like I was going to faint. My vision was blurry with tears, but I could still make out the pads being placed on Zed's bare chest.

"Come on, you don't need to see this" Xav said and pretty much dragged me out of the room. I was screaming Zed's name in between desperate sobs. The fact that I was kicking everywhere probably made me very hard to carry, which is why Xav dropped to the floor immediately after arriving outside. He turned me so I was facing him and craddled me onto his lap. I really needed this hug right now. He was rocking back and forth trying to calm me down, but didn't say anything. I was aware of all of my other brothers (except for Vic who stayed with Zed) staring at me. I couldn't blame them, after all their little sister seemed to be losing it.

 _Breathe, honey. Calm down. Breathe._

I tried my best to trick my body into calming down by mocking Xav's rising and falling chest. After a few minutes my sobs became a bit more reasonable and I could breathe somewhat normally again.

 _That's it, honey. Breathe with me. In and out._

 _What was this?_ I asked Xav, refering to the fact that my loungs felt like there was sand in them.

 _A panic attack._ He explained with a soothing voice. _You'll be fine. Just try not to worry about it and breathe._ His arms were still wrapped tightly around me and he placed a kiss on my head. _Just breathe._

Everything after that was a blurr. The paramedics must have passed us, because I could hear the sirene again. Xav never let go of me. My arms were wrapped around his neck and my eyes were closed. He lifted me and sat in the back seat of Vic's car. Yves, Will, Uri and Trace took the other car with the suspect inside it to give me some space. I was sitting on Xav's lap when the extreme exhaustion finally hit me and before I knew it everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

**ZOE's P.O.V.**

The first thing I was aware of, was the quiet conversation going on between my brothers.

"She's exhausted and a little dehydrated. And that panic attack didn't help her either. She's just sleeping it off though. Don't worry." Xav whispered to someone.

"So she's going to be fine?" that was Trace.

"Of course she is. She should wake up soon."

There was something warm in my hand. I squeezed it and it squeezed back.

"Zoe? Open your eyes, honey." Xav again. I let out a moan and slowly forced my eyelids up. I looked around to see everyone was in the room. Which ment noone was with Zed. Which could only mean-

"Are you alright?" Vic asked and immediately realised that I most likely wasn't. "Right, stupid question" he apologised which made me laugh. I missed them all so much. He was still looking at me worriedly so I gave him a little nod in response and trasfered my attention to the person squeezing my hand.

"Zed?" My chest felt tight and in a way I, was fearing the answer. Part of me wanted to know the truth more than anything, but the other was desperately afraid of it.

Xav looked at the floor briefly and answered. "He's alive. He's in surgery so we won't know anything for the next few hours-"

"What for?" I asked just to be sure.

"His head... and chest... It doesn't matter right now. You need to sleep, tough cookie"

Vic cut in using his power, and for the first time in my life, I didn't mind. I could use a break from this nightmare I woke up to. He willed me into closing my eyes and I was out again.

 **ZOE's P.O.V.**

The next time I woke up, someone was shaking me.

"Hey. Honey, wake up." Xav.

I opened my eyes and noticed that my brothers were now sprawled all around the room, some sleeping, others looking as worried as ever and trying to hide it.

"What's up?"

"You were having a nightmare" he explained. I noticed that my heart was racing, I seemed kind of out of breath, and the heart monitor was beeping differently than usual, but how could I not remember having a nightmare? Normally I always do. "I signed your discharge papers." he smiled at me after a while.

"Thanks. Is there any new-" I was cut off by a doctor walking into the room. All of my awake brothers jumped up.

"Can I speak with you?" he asked Xav, and my heart dropped. Why couldn't he just tell everyone what was going on? Was Zed d-. Xav looked at me, sqeezed my hand reassuringly and followed the doctor outside. I decided to ignore my brain and pay attention to my brothers instead. Will was literally kicking Uri awake, but he left the shaken-up Trace sleeping. Vic was trying to hide his emotions by playing with the board at the foot of my bed. Yves came to stand next to me and soothed me by putting a hand on my shoulder.

 _He'll be fine. He's Zed._

And once again I was crying. This time it was on Yves's shoulder.

 **ZOE's P.O.V**

After a few minutes Xav came back looking somewhat pale. I forced myself not to jump to any conclusions. I could feel Vic in my head telling me to stay calm, which was probably a good idea since the panic attack I had before wasn't very pleasant. Yves was now sitting next to me on the bed with an arm across my shoulders. Everyone else, including Trace, was gathered around my bed, but nobody said anything. At least not out loud.

"So, um.. he made it through surgery."

I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding.

"It went okay, but he- umm- he's in a coma. The pressure on his brain is preventing him from waking up and they're keeping him on the ventilator until he's able to breathe on his own again. Because one of his lungs collapsed, he has a chest tube placed to drain the fluids. It's too early to say, but he could come out of this-"

"Could?" Yves's voice broke as his hand tightened against my shoulder.

"There's no easy way to say this. We just need to wait and see if he wakes up and go from there."

"What do you mean if?" I squealed, my voice barely audiable.

Xav sat on the bed next to me and glanced at Yves for a second before turning all of his attention to me. He let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck with his hands. "Look, honey, nothing's for sure right now, except for the fact that Zed took quite a beating. His body just needs time to heal."

His words made me wince. "You said he couldn't brethe" I remembered his previous comment.

"That's true. The head injury caused his brain to swell, which made him slip into a coma. Because he is so deeply unconscious his body just kind of gave up on some of its functions in order to heal. Due to his collapsed lung, the paramedics had to intubate him to make sure he got enough air, therefore his body knew it could stop breathing and would still get the oxygen it needs. It's a matter of preference really."

All of my brothers were staring at Xav shocked, trying to digest what he was saying. So was I.

"Look, I know this sounds harsh, but the fact that the ventilator is breathing for him right now is actually good. It gives him time to heal without having to focus on continuously reinflating his loungs and it also lets his brain get the rest it needs."

This doctor-like-talk didn't really make me feel any better, but honestly, right now nothing could. I just needed everything to go back no normal. I needed all seven of my goofy brothers awake and messing around as usual, but I guess I wasn't gonna have that anytime soon.

"Wait- you mean he has brain damage?" Will asked what we were all thinking but feared to say.

Xav just looked at him, by which he ment to say that he really didn't know.

"Can I see him?" I asked.

"We all can. I talked the doctor into it with my incredible charm" Xav tried his best to lighten the mood, keeping it together for the whole family.


	6. Chapter 6

**ZOE's P.O.V.**

We were all standing in front of a door the ICU. Behind the door was a hospital bed with the youngest Benedict brother in it. Xav was standing in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.

"There's no way to prepare yourself for what you're about to see, but please try your best to stay calm for your own good and for his."

I nodded silently and he looked from one brother to another to make sure none of them would break down anytime soon.

He slowly opened the door and let me in. I was well aware of Xav and Yves standing directly behind me, ready to give me support if needed. My other four brothers stood directly behind them, but to my surprise none of that helped. Xav was right. This was going to be tough.

I couldn't believe what was in front of me. Zed was burried somewhere in the sterile white hospital bed. He was so unnaturally pale I could barely tell him apart from the white sheets. A blanket was covering him up to his waist. His bare chest was wrapped with a thick bandage and there was a big tube coming out of it on his left side. That must be the drain Xav mentioned before. A bruise was forming undernieth the bandage and his abdomen was turning an ugly shade of purple. His arms had tubes coming out of them in three different places, each of them connected to either an IV bag or a morphine drip. Another bandage was wrapped around his head, his eyes were closed shut and his cheeks flushed. But the most intimidating out of all was the tube coming out of his mouth. A machine was forcing air down into his chest in regular intervals and a heart monitor was making an annoying beeping sound, which indicated that my brother was still alive. Barely.

I couln't get myself to move. He looked so fragile. I was afraid he was going to let go if I took one more step towards him. A hand appeared on my back and I could hear Xav's voice. "Come here. Talk to him." I let him guide me towards the bed. My other brothers found their places around it, while I slowly took hold of his hand.

"Can he hear me?"

"Noone really knows for sure, but I like to believe so."

 _Zed?_ I tried telepathically. Nothing.

I gently squeezed my twin's hand, took a breath and decided to talk out loud this time. "Hey, Zed. I don't know if you can hear me, but- If you can, please don't let go. If I survived a week all by myslef, you can get through this too. Just- keep fighting." I could feel myself starting to lose it. "You have to wake up. You're my other half. My better half. I need you. Please wake up." I was crying and my knees felt week. Soon Xav's hands on my arms were the only thing keeping me from falling down.

 _I still can't feel him, Xav_ I cried.

He didn't say a thing. He just hugged me and let me cry until I had no tears left inside me.

 **ZOE's P.O.V.**

"Either you eat something right now, or I'll get Xav to hook you up to an IV" Yves tried to talk me into listening.

"I said I wasn't hungry!" I screamed in my brother's face. It was late afternoon. Almost 24 hours have passed since Zed was beaten up and there was still no change in his condition.

"Alright. Get up." Vic was standing behind me, but I didn't move. Suddenly his hands were under my arms and he was lifting me up and dragging me out of the ICU.

"No! Victor, let go of me! I can't leave him!" I was trying to make his grip loose, but it obviously wasn't working. Five minutes later I was sitting behind a table in the hospital cafeteria with a plate of food in front of me. There was no way Vic was going to let me leave, so I might aswell eat. He was sitting on the opposite side of the table trying to determine wether I was going to bite him.

"I'm sorry, Vic. I'm just- I'm scared."

 _I know. I am too._ There's a sentence I never thought I would hear. _I understand you, Zoe_ he continued after a while. Did he really understand?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He sighed and slowly continued "When you were missing, Zed was a total mess. I don't know if this is a twin thing, but he refused to eat or sleep for days." I didn't know that. I mean sure, we were really close, but this? Aparently we were much more alike than we let ourselves believe. "It got so far that he almost passed out on us." Yup. That was Zed for you. Completely stubborn in every aspect. "I guess that's why we're all trying to get you to eat. We're scared for you. " He wondered off, lost somewhere in his thoughts, while I finished everything on the plate. This whole situation was taking its toll on all of us. Zed needed to get better. And fast.

"I can't feel him" I blurted out. Vic just stared me, probably trying to figure out what I ment. "Zed. I can't feel his presence" I explained. "I'm so used to him always being there that- I don't know. I feel like a part of me is missing. Literally." There was nothing I could add, so I waited for Vic to say something instead.

"Hey. I can't tell you everything's gonna be like it used to be, because I don't know that. What I _do_ know is that no matter what happens, we will get through this. Together. We'll always have each other. There are so many shoulders to lean on in our family-" I started laughing uncontrolably. I couldn't believe he was making a joke about the fact there were eight siblings in our family. But I guess he was right. They were always there for me. All of them. And right now I needed to be there for Zed.

 _Thanks, Vic._

I was about to add something when I felt it. It was faint but it was there. A little tingling sensation in the back of my brain. I gasped.

"What?" Vic asked, probably thinking that something was wrong. But it wasn't. On the contrary, this was the best thing I have could asked for.

"I can feel him" I whispered. I could tell that sparkle appeared in Vic's eyes. We both jumped up simultaneously and ran towards the ICU as fast as we could, not even bothering to take the elevator.

 **ZOE's P.O.V.**

We burst through the door only to be met by five confused and slightly shocked brothers. It only took Xav two steps to reach me and I jumped into his chest. His arms wrapped me into a hug, though he had no idea what was happening.

"I can feel him again" that was all he needed to hear. He quickly dropped me back on my feet and moved, so that I could stand next to my unconscious brother. He didn't look any better than before, but I didn't care. To me, the tingling made all the difference.

I grabbed his hand, blocked out the whole world and concentrated on him.

 _Zed?_


	7. Chapter 7

**ZED's P.O.V.**

The fresh, cold air was blowing in my face as I was snowboarding down the hardest ski trail. This was one of the main reasons why I loved it so much. It was my own little piece of freedom. Whenever I was angry I would come here and let out all the frustrations. Zoe hated it, because she thought it was dangerous, however in the seventeen years of my life I have not managed to kill myself. Lucky for me. She would have killed me all over again if I did.

My legs didn't feel tired at all even though I was almost half way down the trail. Almost everyone who ever attempted to go down this trail ended up in the snow on either side of it. But not me. I was unsto-

"Zed!" Zoe? What was she doing here? I turned to see where she was calling me from. My heart dropped. She was standing in the middle of the trail about 10 meters above me. "Zed, help me!"

A guy was skiing towarrds her. Fast. He was going to hit her in a matter of seconds. I needed to save her, but- I couldn't. I couldn't snowboard _up_ the hill and there was not enoug time to run either. She was going to get hit and there was no way of stopping it. I darted towards her, but I slipped. And then I was falling backwards. Everything was in slow motion. Zoe screaming, me falling. Strange. The sky above me was cloudless and bright blue. I braced myself for impact, but the fall never came. The blue sky turned darker and darker until it was completely black, and then all that was left was excruciating pain.

What on Earth was going on? Was I dead? It sure felt like I was in hell.

 _Zed?_ I felt somethig soft and sweet. Zoe? Was she okay? Did the guy ever hit her? I had to check on her, but it was too dark for me to see anything.

"His heart rate's coming up." It was a very distant, barely audiable voice. I knew this voice, but I couldn't remember who it belonged to. "He might be waking up. Keep talking to him." Was it Xav? Maybe.

 _Zed, can you hear me?_ That was Zoe again. She sounded scared. Why was my munchkin scared? Was she hurt? In danger?

 _Squeeze my hand if you can hear me._ Why wouldn't I hear her? She was using telepathy, it was impossible for me not to hear her. Whatever, I can squeeze her hand if that's what she wants. I moved my finger slowly and regreted it immediately after.

If I thought the pain was bad before, there were no words to describe what I was feeling now. There was a stabbing pain in the left side of my chest. Actually, my whole chest felt like it was being crushed by a truck. How was I still breathing with all this pain? Wait. I wasn't. Something was pushing way too much air into my loungs making it hurt even more. And then all of a sudden the air was completely gone. And soon after it appeared again, forcing its way into my sore chest. I felt like crying, but no sound came out. There was something blocking my throat. It went all the way up to my mouth. That wasn't right. It needed to leave my mouth and let me breathe.

 _Zed? Open your eyes, honey._ Zoe interrupted my misery. Oh, was that why I couldn't see? Alright, eyes, open! They didn't budge. How was I supposed to open them if they refused to do what I said? Maybe Zoe could tell me. Let's see... How does this telepathy thing work?

 _Zoe?_ Oh, there it was. Would you look at that? Success.

"Oh my god. Zed?!" She was now screaming with her happy voice. The one she uses whenever one of us buys her tickets for a concert she's dying to go see. "He answered me, Xav!" I was right. The person speaking before _was_ Xav. Suddenly a hand was rubbing my chest and something was squeezing my right biceps.

"Zed? Zed, can you hear me?" Obviously I could, was he stupid? "Try to open your eyes for me, Zed." Right. The eyes. I almost forgot about that. Easier said than done, bro. I tried again anyway and this time it worked. My eyelids fluttered. Bingo.

Suddenly everything was white and a jolt of pain pierced my head. I closed my eyes again hoping to make the headache go away, it didn't work though.

"That's it. Look at me, Zed." Believe me Xav, I'm trying. I forced the eyelids up again and this time they blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. My vision was blurry, but I could make out two faces. Xav and Zoe. She was crying. Where were we? Everything was so annoyingly white.

"Zed? It's okay. You're at the hospital" Xav told me. Well that explained it. Wait, why was I in a hospital? Was Zoe hit afterall? Was she okay? I tried to ask, but then I remembered the horrible thing shoved down my throat. I gagged. I needed to caugh really badly, but I couldn't. I felt like I was going to throw up, so I gagged some more and looked at Xav with watery eyes, hoping he could help me.

"Xav, what's going on?" Aparently Zoe noticed how much pain I was in. There was a very fast beeping sound above my head, which reminded me of a heart monitor.

"Zed, listen to me. I need you to try and calm down. There is a tube down your throat, helping you breathe. I'm gonna get it out in a second, okay?" This thing was doing everything _but_ helping me. I tried to answer, but it made me gag even more. "Don't try to talk, just let it breathe for you while I go get the doctor" Xav explained, but I wasn't listening anymore. That tube needed to go right now. As soon as he was out of my sight, I lifted both of my hands and grabbed it yanking hard. That made everything even worse. All of my brothers, who I hadn't noticed before, jumped towards me and pinned me down on the bed. They were saying something, but I couldn't hear them over the buzzing in my ears. I was also too busy trying not to suffocate to fight them.

What felt like an eternity later Xav appeared with the doctor.

"Glad to see you're back with us" the doctor said. "I see that tube is bothering you, so how about I take it out?" That sounded brilliant. I just wished he would hurry before I died. "Alright, I need you to blink twice if you can hear me." I blinked. Once. Twice. "Great. Now try to stop fighting the ventilator, because it's only making you sick. Do you understand?" Go figure. If I could talk, I would say something rude. Instead, I blinked twice again. "Great. Now here's how this is gonna work. I'm going to count to three, and I need you to caugh as hard as you can on three, okay?" Two blinks. Vic was holding one of my hands pinned down, while Xav held the other. Yves was holding Zoe, trying to soothe her as best as he could. I should be the one doing that.

"Ready?" Two blinks. "One, two, three." I caughed. He pulled. And it hurt as hell. I could feel the tube sliding up, irritating my throat even more. I could feel tears running down my cheeks. Finally it was over and an oxygen mask was placed over my nose and mouth.

"It's okay. It's all over" Xav was rubbing his hand on my chest to make it feel better. I wish it were true. Everything hurt, but at least the invasive air wasn't hurting my chest anymore. The doctor was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. Zoe reappeared by my side. She looked happier than before and I finay understood what was bothering her. She was afraid for _me_. She needed to hear me say that I was okay. I pulled the mask away from my face so that Zoe could hear me better.

"Zed?" Xav asked. I realised the doctor was asking me something, but I couldn't understand a thing. Why could I only hear Xav? This was strange. "Zed, are you okay?" Black spots appeared in my vision. I tried to blink them away, but failed. Everything was getting blurry again, when the heart monitor started blasting.

"His stats are dropping!" the doctor said looking at the noisy monitor. Hey, I could hear him now!

"Zed" Xav got my attention "Stay with me." What was he talking about? I wasn't going anywhere.

"He's turning blue" Zoe whispered. It felt good hearing her voice again. She's so unusually quiet it almost scares me.

"He stopped breathing." Wait, what? I was breathing just fine. I think. Was I not? The doctor lowered my bed so I was lying flat on my back. An ambu bag appeared on my face pushing air inside my chest. Again. Was it really that hard to understand this whole breathing thing was hurting me? "His oxygen levels are too low. Xav, give him some sedative. I need to reintubate."

In a matter of seconds Xav held a syringe in his hand. "Don't worry, you're going to be okay. Just hang in there." He sounded worried, which was very unusual. He pushed the white fluid into a tube connected to my arm. The doctor lifted my chin up and I noticed the horrible tube in his hand. Damn it. He was going to put that thing down my throat again, wasn't he? He pushed my mouth open and inserted a metal thing which would help him guide the breathing tube. It was almost inside my mouth now. Wait! I wasn't knocked out yet! I was pretty sure I should be sleeping for the next part. I tried to stop him by lifting my hand, but I couldn't move. And then the tube was scratching the back of my throat. I could feel it slide down all the way into my lungs. A larger tube was attached to it and the air was being shoved into my chest all over again. It hurt. I could feel my body slowly giving up and by now I didn't even care. I closed my eyes and sank into unconsciousness.

 **MY P.O.V** **aka Author's note**

 **Sooo... Zed's back. Well, sort of.**

 **Thank you for reading.**

 **I hope you enjoyed. Don't worry, it's not the end (obviously). I'm not that mean. I just wanted to say that I have two extremely important exams coming up this week, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to post. I will try my best, but I would rather not post at all than just throw something crappy together...**

 **Thanks for understanding.**

 **Love, N**


	8. Author's note only

**Author's note:**

 **Firstly, I apologise for getting your hopes up, by making you think this is the next chapter (please don't hate me, I've been there so I know how you feel). I really didn't want to be one of the people who get everyone's hopes up, but I felt like you deserved an explantion.**

 **I would like to thank every single one of you who wished me good luck on my exams, I appreciate it. The one I had yesterday went really good, I have a second one later today and another one next week (don't worry I won't make you wait that long, the next chapter is either coming today or tomorrow). I would like to wish the best of luck to any of you, who might have finals or anything else going on in your life. Thank you for all the support. I wish you all the best.**

 **Now to answer the questions about soulfinders. When I first envisioned this story, it was supposed to be about the seven fabulous Benedict brothers and their sister, therefore there aren't nor will there be any soulfinders. It just doesn't fit in with my concept. I am sorry if that makes you not want to continue reading. I just can't go against myself (just because this is my first story, therefore I feel it should be trully mine)... I hope you understand.**

 **Another reason for why I don't feel like going against my idea is more personal. I lost someone extremely important to me in a horrific accident this Sunday (it was completely unexpected and therefore incredibly tough), which is the reason why I started writing this story in the first place. He was my other half. My better half. Zed reminds me of him so much, which is why the relationship between Zed and Zoe is dedicated to him (and me)...**

 **I hope this didn't sound rude, because that really wasn't my intention.**

 **If you have any requests or wishes for different stories (including the lovely soulfinders and so forth) you are more than welcome to let me know in the comment or PM me, and I will try my very best to write them based on your wishes.**

 **Wow, this was long XD Thank you for bearing with me and taking your time to read. You mean the world to me.**

 **Love, N**


	9. Chapter 8

**ZOE's P.O.V.**

"What the hell was that?!" I was sobbing while screaming at my brother.

"Ssssh. Calm down, honey" he was trying to make me feel better. I was shaking uncontrollably in his arms. My nose was so stuffy I could barely breathe. I clould feel that Xav's shirt was already soaked with my tears where my face was pressed into his chest. He knew nothing he could do would soothe me. He just hugged me desperately, trying to ease the pain. He let me cry for a while before saying "You'll hyperventilate if you don't stop. Slow down." How was I supposed to do that. My brother, my best friend was _dying_! Xav's hands were squeezing me tight around my waist and Yves was tracing circles on my back with his hand, hoping it would help. Zed used to do that, whenever I was upset. Everyone knew that. The thought of possibly never experiencing that again frightened me.

We were all either standing, pacing up and down or crying in the waiting room, while the doctors were running tests on Zed. I was well aware of the state my brothers were in. That was the thing about telepathy. Whenever we talked to each other, it would also trasmit our emotions. Same went for whenever our shields were down. We could actually _feel_ each other's pain and distress. This is ehat was happening now. I could feel every single one of them almost at breaking point, but keeping it together as much as possible. We were hopelessly waiting, caught in our own thoughts, trying to make ourselves believe everything was going to be fine.

I couldn't take this anymore. I pushed myself out of my brother's hands. "Xav-. I need to know." He sighed, probably wondering how much he should tell me. He knew I wasn't going to let this go, but it was hard on him too. We all assumed he would be the sain one in situations like this, but maybe being in his shoes was harder than we thought. Afterall he was the one with the most medical knowledge. He was the only one who trully knew how bad this was. "Just tell me what you think happened."

"Honestly... I don't know what to think." Well that certainly didn't help. I mean, the fact that Zed stopped breathing in front of our eyes wasn't pleasant, but the fact that Xav had no idea why (or knew exactly why, but refused to believe it) scared me even more. "Let's just wait for the doctor" he concluded. And so we waited. Sitting all over the waiting room, scared to death.

A couple of hours later he finally reappeared. Xav and Vic jumped up immediately, while the rest of us stayed frozen in our seats. Yves squeezed my hand reassuringly. This was it. In a few seconds our worlds would either collapse or-.

"How is he?" Vic and Xav asked at the same time.

"Critical." So the doctor was going to be honest. No sugarcoat. I wasn't sure if that made me happy or worried. "Your brother suffered a severe traumatic brain injury. The MRI and CT scan still showed signs of swelling on his brain. We inserted a small device into his skull, which will help us keep track of his intracranial pressure." They put something into Zed's head?! I felt sick. "Your brother seems to have gone into respiratory arrest, which is why we couldn't get him to start breathing on his own again." Well that ounded even more horrible that the whole traumatic brain injury thing. "We're keeping him in an induced coma until his condition improves-"

"What's that?" I asked, completely lost in the terminology by this point.

"It means we are shutting down all his brain functions, by giving him sedation drugs. Keeping him on a ventilator enabels him to rest and heal safely."

That sounded harsh and made me want to pass out and forget this conversation all together. "How long will he be like this?"

"If everything goes as planned, for about 72 hours, and then we'll try to wean him off of it."

"And if it doesn't?" I asked very quietly, not sure whether I wanted to hear the answer or not.

"Then we'll go from there. There's no point in worrying about that right now." He was probably right. I just needeneeded everything to go back to normal. Well, as normal as possible. I knew enough about medicine to be aware that even if Zed woke up from his coma, he may never be the same again, and that scared me.

 **ZOE's P.O.V.**

Vic forced everyone except Xav and I to go home and get some rest. He knew there was no point in trying to take me home, because I wouldn't budge. Xav wasn't planning on leaving Zed's bedside either, it was obvious he was exhausted though. He fell asleep immediately after everyone left and was still asleep hours later. I was lying down next to Zed, my head resting on his shpulder, careful not to move any of the tubes while listening to his favourite songs. One headphone in his ear, one in mine. Just like the old times. W always had a similar taste in music. The songs I used to love just a couple of days ago were making me sad right now, because they reminded me of the joyful and funny Zed I was missing so much. At some point the exhaustion got to me too and I wondered off into a restless sleep.

I was woken up by an irregular beeping sound of the heart monitor. That wasn't supposed to be happening, right?

"Xav" I shook my brother's shoulder to wake him up. "I think something's wrong." He was up in seconds. Just before we reached the bed, Zed started seizing.

I froze. Luckily, Xav knew what to do. He quickly lowered Zed's bed, so that he was lying flat and hit the red alarm button on the wall. Then he looked at me, with more than obvious terror in his eyes.

 **Author's note:**

 **So here it is. Finally the next chapter. Not even close to being my best one, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Not trying to make excuses, but I'm having a pretty crappy and emotional day... aparently my writing skills got lost somewhere along the way. Or maybe just my sense of humor. Either way thank you for reading.**

 **Love, N**


	10. Chapter 9

**ZOE's P.O.V.**

The doctor confirmed it was a seizure. It lasted for almost four very long and extremely scarry minutes, and Zed was immediately taken away for more tests. For us, it was the waiting game all over again.

Xav had called all of my brothers and explained them 'they should be here just in case'. Just in case what?! I was so sick and tired of this craziness. I hated seing my brothers hurt more than anything in the world. I just wished it would all end already.

All five of my brothers burst into the waiting room 15 minutes after it all went down. The drive from our house to the hospital would normally take about 25 minutes. Whoever was driving must have broken every single rule out there to get here so fast. I went out on a limb and guessed it was Vic.

They all immediately noticed my slouched form squeezed into one of the corners of the room, trying to protect myself from this scarry world. Yves murmured something to the others and headed straight towards me. Everyone else stepped in front of Xav, who had been franatically pacing back and forth for approximately fifteen minutes. Just as he was about to start explaining what happened, Yves crouched in front of me and blocked my view. I looked straight into his eyes. Luckily, he didn't say anything. If he did, I probably whould have started crying again. Man, I never used to cry this much. I must have cried more in this past week then ever before in my entire life. First getting kidnapped and now... I was such a crybaby.

 _Stop it right now, little miss._

 _Stop what?_

 _You're not a crybaby._ Oops. So he heard that? _This is something noone should ever have to go trough. I can't even imagine how you must feel. First being scared for your own life, and now Zed... It's scarry and horrifying and wrong. You have every right to be upset._

 _He's_ _right_ Vic joined us telepathicly. Sooo, I guess my brothers were all listening to the broadcast of our conversation... _Little dove._ That shocked me. Vic hasn't called me that in years. I thought he had forgotten about the sweet nickname. It's moments like this that I trully appreciate my siblings. I was trully blessed to have seven such kind and loving brothers in my life. I always knew they would make eight girls very happy. Their seven future wives, and me.

 _I love you guys._

 _We love you too_ they all responed in unity.

A nurse walked in to give us an update. She said they were taking Zed back into surgery, because there were some complications. Those are never the words you want to hear. As usual, there was nothing any of us could do, exept wait and hope for the best.

ZOE's P.O.V.

Hours passed and just as Xav was about to head to the nurses' station to see if he could find out anything, the doctor walked in dressed in scrubs. "Your brother had a brain bleed, which resulted in a blood clot. We had to remove it surgically." That didn't sound too bad. Maybe he'll be okay after all. "However, the invasive surgery caused his brain to swell up even more. We were forced to purposely lower his body temperature to 94 degrees, in order to help decrease the pressure." Never mind. Was there ever going to be any good news?

 _Damn it._ That was Xav. Before any of us got a chance to ask, he continued _Induced hypothermia is mostly used as a last resort._ And there I was, broken down, tears running down my cheeks again. I wasn't ready to lose my brother. Not like this.

 _Zed, don't you dare let go._ I told hom telepathically, even though he probably couldn't hear me.

"We'll reelevate it as soon as the pressure decreases. I wish I had better news." Believe me, man, so do we. "All you can do now is be there for him."

"Thank you, doc." Trace was the only one able to speak at this moment.

"You can see him if you want. He shouldn't be alone..." he trailed off, not wanting to express the huge possibility of us losing our brother.

 **ZOE's P.O.V.**

Zed's room was freezing. That was the first thing I noticed when I walked in. The second thing were the blue cooling blankets placed pretty much all over Zed's legs, arms and torso. His skin was even whiter than before and his lips were a strange shade of blue. The scarry tube was still shoved down his throat, and all the other tubes were in their previous spots aswell. There was a wire coming out of his head, which I guessed was keeping an eye on his intrawhatever pressure.

I felt the urge to hold his hand, so I darted towards his bed. "Hey there, troublemaker." I heard Vic chuckle, before I took hold of Zed's limp hand. "Geez, you're freezing. Literally. Maybe if you were actually wearing a shirt, you wouldn't be so cold. Just sayin'... You don't have to hit one every single woman around." I paused to regain myself. "How about you stop dying on us, huh? Unless, of course, you have a deathwish, in which case go right ahead." My brothers were now sitting down, enjoying the sarcastic monologue. "Seriously, Zed, if you keep up with this much longer-. You know Xav can't keep a straight face. Ever. At least I've never seen him without a grin on his face. Not until yesterday, at least... Now, that's all I ever see. And the others aren't much better either. I think they are starting to get all cheezy and emotional. You should really wake up and fix them., before it's too late." I was making fun of anything I cluld think of, but I knew my brothers didn't mind. We were all feeling the withdrawal from the lack of Zed and Xav's usual constant sense of humor. So I countinued insulting everything, making the long moments slightly more bearable.

I find it interesting, how fast priorities can change. When we first arrived at the hospital, all I wanted was for Zed to wake up. Now, the terryfying stats alarms staying quiet were enough.

 **Author's note:**

 **Done (just with this chapter, not the story... don't worry I won't leave Zed hanging). This felt good. Writing always makes me feel better, that's why I love it so much.**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading it. If you find the time and feel like it, please review, for I would love to hear some feedback** **in order to improve.**

 **Thank you for everything.**

 **Love, N**


	11. Chapter 10

**ZOE's P.O.V.**

The next couple of days slowly passed by. Xav and I spent the whole time by Zed's side, hoping to see some improvement and more importantly no setbacks. The others were in and out all of the time, checking in on all three of us.

Five days after this whole nightmare started, the doctor decided to slowly bring Zed's body temperature back up. The once freezing cold room now felt as warm as summer. Zed's hand slowly became warmer to the touch and his cheeks were starting to look more human. It was decided that if there were no further complications, they would start to reduce his sedation levels in 48 hours. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either. To me, that made all the difference.

Minutes passed by and so did the 48 hours. The doctore came for a final checkup, before saying "The pressure on his brain seems to have reduced enough, so that we can slowly wean him off of the sedation. However, since he hasn't been using his muscles at all for a while, we are forced to keep him on the ventilator."

"Until when?" I asked, slightly confused by his words.

"Until he is fully awake and able to breathe completely on his own." I thought that wasn't a problem any more since the pressure was reduced, but aparetly I was wrong.

Another two days passed more or less peacefully, apart from the fact that Zed still wasn't showing any signs of improvement. The fact that he still hasn't woken up terrified me. I knew there was a possibility he would always stay like this, but I refused to believe it. I was also aware that the longer he was in a coma, the bigger the chances of him not recovering were getting. So with every tick of the clock, I encouraged him to wake up, hoping to see his eyelids flutter. But they didn't.

"Xav? Why is he still in a coma?"

"The head injury makes it harder for him to come out of it. It's normal." I could tell Xav was exhusted. It was starting to get to him. I hadn't heard a joke from him in days, which was everything _but_ normal. He also hasn't called me honey for a while, which was very unusual, since nicknames were his forte. He was just standing on the other side of Zed's bed, constantly staring at s spot on the covers.

"Promise?"

He finally brought his eyes up and looked at me. "What?"

"Promise me that you're not keeping anything from me or lying." I paused. "It's not gonna keep me from hetting hurt in the long run."

He sighed and transfered his attention to whatever he was staring at before again. "I'm not. I promise."

And then we just stood there again. Not talking and not moving. Just waiting as the minuted slowly passed by.

I don't even know how much time had passed, when I felt something. A little, barely noticable twitch of Zed's fingers in my palm. I gasped. Xav looked at me, but his eyes stayed emotionless. I didn't want to get my hopes up again, so I firced myself to believe I was only imagining it. But then I felt it again. This time it was stronger. I squeezed Zed's hand and miraculously, he squeezed back. "Xav, look" I whispered and motioned towards our hands. He didn't say anything, but I could see him squeeze the hand he was holding. Zed's fingers tightened around it, and a smile finally appeared on Xav's face. He was now looking at the pale motionless face in front of us, so I did the same.

"Zed?" I asked quietly. At first, nothing happened. And then his eyelids fluttered. There was no denying it. Zed was finally waking up. Slowly his eyes opened, looking straight forward. I moved closer, so that he could see me. "Hey" I whispered, just as a tear ran down my cheek. Before I knew it, his eyes closed again, but I could finally breathe a little easier.

 **Author's note:**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

 **This chapter was pretty short, but I had a really busy day, therefore I didn't have time to make it longer. I'm really sorry. Please, try to bear with me.**

 **Love, N**


	12. Chapter 11

**ZOE's P.O.V.**

Later that day, we were all gathered in the hospital room again. Xav had called Vic to let everyone know Zed had woken up. I could hear all of my brothers' cheers coming through the phone, which was probably the nicest sound in the world.

"Give him time" Xav told me reassuringly. I nodded in reply, to tired to use words. The thought of finally being able to sleep in peace was overwhelming. This nightmare was almost over. I would soon have my brother back. I knew there was no guarantee, but I had to believe.

"He's awake" Vic exclaimed from his chair and jumped up. My head spun towards Zed, whose eyes were wide open. The usual spark in the.m was missing, but I didn't care.

"Finally" I heard Xav whisper to himself.

"Zed" I said quietly almost unable to speak due to overwhelming happiness "Can you hear me?" He gave me a little nod.

"You took your time." Xav took over. I let him talk to Zed, since he probably had a better idea how to handle this than me.

 **ZED's P.O.V.**

What was he talking about? "Didn't I specifically tell you not to get yourself killed?" Xav continued to tease me, but to be honest, I had no idea what he was refering to. I was about to reply, but he stopped me.

"It's okay, don't talk. You're in the hospital. Can you remember what happened? Blink twice for yes and once for no." I blinked once. "You were beaten up pretty badly, which is why you've been unconscious for quite a while." Something wasn't right. I could tell he was keeping something from me. I glanced around. Based on the exhaustion and worry displayed on all of my siblings' faces, there was much more to the story. I was going to ask, but my throat felt extremely dry. I probably wouldn't be able to get a single sentence out anyway. My head was killing me, but I decided to risk it and talk to him telepathically despite that.

 _How bad is it?_

He froze for a second, before replying. "You suffered a severe head and chest injury. You stopped breathing, which is why they had to intubate you."

Intubate me? What? I tried to object out loud, but then I felt it. The incredibly annoying sensation inside my throat, running all the way into my loungs, which could only mean one thing. The tube was still shoved down my throat. And now that I thought about it, it was starting to irritate me. A lot.

"There were some complications..." my brother continued. "You had a seizure and they had to take you in for surgery, but you'll be fine." Xav kept talking, but I wasn't paying attention any more. My concentration was only on the stupid tube. A machine was forcing air into my sore loungs. It was far from being pleasant. I felt like I was about to throw up. Or caugh my loungs out. Either way, I was miserable and in a lot of pain.

 _How long?_ I asked, using my eyes to motion towards the tube taped to my mouth. I knew he uderstood what I was talking about.

 _Just a few days_ , u _ntil you can breathe on your own again._

A few days?! He was joking, right? I couldn't take five seconds of this and I was supposed to last days?! My whole life was a misery. I was in excruciating pain. My body felt like it belonged to someone else, since I seemed to have very little control over it. I guess that was a consequence of the brain injury Xav mentioned. Those were almost impossible to recover from, I knew that much. I was going to stay like this forever. Stuck in a bed, attached to a breathing machine. A burden to everybody around me. Completely useless, trapped inside a body that doesn't feel like mine. That wasn't a life wanted to live.

 _Take it out._ I begged without using much emotions. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted all of this to end.

 _You know I can't do that. You'd just stop breathing all over again._

 _I know. That's the point._ I was met with silence. He knew what I ment, and it scared him.

 **Author's note:**

 **So, I decided to reply to your comments here, because it's honestly much easier. I hope you don't mind. This will be kind of long, so ypu don't have to read it if you're not interested.**

 **I would like to thank every single one of you who reached out one way or another to give me support. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry for everything you guys had to go through in the past or are going through now. These things are hard.**

 **I don't mind you asking about the boy I lost at all. Although it hurts, talking about him actually feels somewhat good and right.** **No, he wasn't my twin biologically, but metaphorically I could say he was. He was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am incredibly thankful for the 19 years I got with him. Out of 7 billion people, I was lucky enough to call him my best friend. I've known him since we were babies (both of our families were friends long before we were born) and we were together literally every day. Pretty much inseparable. I'm an only child, so he was like a brother to me. Even more than that in a sense.** **Anytime I needed him, he was there and vice versa. He was the solution to every problem, my back-up and 'partner in crime'. The peanut butter to my jelly.**

 **I would like to explain what happened to him. Not because I want anyone to feel sorry for me, but because it feels good to get it off my chest and because I trust you.**

 **It was about two weeks about his 19th birthday. He was driving home from football (soccer for those of you from America) practice on his motorbike. He took the same road as always. Every single day for years. Thanks to a careless drunk driver who almost hit him with his car while passing by, he got thrown off the road on one of the hairpin curves. Noone else saw the accident and the drunk driver just drove off. So my friend was left unconscious in the ditch. They found him hours later. He was taken to hospital where his whole family and I visited him. Miraculoustly he was awake and talking. He was a bit banged up, but seem perfectly fine otherwise. He was taken into surgery to fix his broken arm. He should've been okay. He suffered a stroke on the table, due to an undetected brain bleed. He was pronounced brain dead, so they turned off life support six hours later.**

 **The fact that he was stolen from us so young is unbearable. One second he was there and the next... it was all over. It's unfair. I know I'll be fine eventually, even if it's hard to imagine such a big part of my life missing. I know he'll always be with me, even if only inside my heart. If he can, he'll be keeping an eye on me from wherever he is. I'm sure of it.**

 **Thank you for allowing me to share this with you, and thank you again for all the support.Thank you for giving me the time and space I need by not pressuring me into writing more than I possibly can at the time being. I'm sure you can imagine my life is all over the place right now. Don't get me wrong, but I never thought I would get such a positive, supportive and caring reaction from people who don't really know me. It means a lot. Words honestly can't explain it... Thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

 **Love, N**


	13. Chapter 12

**Author's note**

 **This story was originally supposed to be written only from Zed and Zoe's P.O.V., but I've reached a point where I had no choice but to include Xav's P.O.V. or to change the story completely... so I went with the first. I hope you don't mind. Enjoy :)**

 **PS To answer the question I recieved (by the way, I was not offended by it whatsoever), I actually completely forgot about Karla and Saul until around chapter 9, for I am probably the most forgetful human alive. I have no idea how I managed to do that, but it happened. I realised I had no explanation prepared for why they weren't present until then, so I pretty much decided to keep ignoring the fact they should (and would) obviously be there for their children. I guess it seems kind of stupid now that I think about it, but whatever. Everybody makes mistakes, so I guess they're just going to be missing in this story. I'm sorry for being so careless that I forgot about them.**

 **XAV's P.O.V.**

My heart dropped. Was he really saying that he'd rather die?

 _Zed-_ I tried to talk some sense into him, but he immediately cut me off.

 _Please leave. All of you. I need some space._

What was I supposed to do? He's the most stubborn out of all of us. He seemed very upset, which didn't surprise me. Honestly, if it were me, I'd probably be the same way. This was one of the moments when I needed to have his back, so I decided to pretend nothing happened. "You should get some rest." I told Zed, before turning my attention to everyone else. "Why don't we all go home and get some proper sleep?" They stared at me as if I was the one who had hit my head, so I continued "He's obviously back from the dead, so there's no need to worry. He's most likely gonna sleep through the rest of the day and we can cone back first thing in the morning." I threw in some of my usual sarasm, which seemed to do the trick. They all greeted Zed and gathered in the hallway.

"It's good to have you back. I love you" Zoe said and placed a kiss on Zed's cheek, before going after my brothers.

Now, we were the only ones in the roo. I wasn't sure what to say, which was very rare. I was worried about him. I tried to make eye contact, but he wouldn't look at me. _Get some rest, okay?_ He didn't reply. Just closed his eyes and continued to ignore me.

As soon as I stepped in the hallway, my siblings attacked me with questions. To be honest, I was surprised they hadn't asked me anything while I was talking to Zed.

"Is he alright? What'd he say?" that was Zoe.

"He's okay. A little confused about this whole thing, but that's perfectly normal. He's just tired, so please do yourself a favour, go home and rest." That was the biggest lie I've ever told. He was far from fine. The person lying on the bed was the complete opposite of the Zed I know. I couldn't get myself to leave... just in case. But I wanted to give him space, so I decided to stay in front of his room for a while.

"Okay, come on, let's go." Vic said, expecting me to start walking.

"I'm not coming." I was met with silence.

"Why?" Trace wondered after a while.

"Just... in case. I don't want to leave him all alone." To my surprise, everyone bought it.

 _What'd he say to you?_ Let me rephrase that. Everyone bought it, except for Yves. Obviously he knew something was off. He could read Zed and I like an open book.

 _He needs time to get his head around it._ I paused. _I'll keep an eye on him._ Yves didn't say anything else.

"Call if anything changes." Vic instructed me and I nodded in agreement, so they all left. I leaned onthe wall and slid down, overwhelmed with emotions.

 **ZED's P.O.V.**

This was hell.

Constant pain, inescapable misery, loud machines, tubes everywhere. I couldn't take this hell any longer. Deffinately not my whole life. I had to do something.

I collected all of the energy I had left, and lifted my arm. I grabbed the tube that was shoving the air into my loungs and pulled hard. And just like that it was done. The machine was disconnected, letting me end my misery. I exhaled one last time and the air never reentered my longs. This was it. I succeded. It felt good. My brain started to get foggy, but I wasn't scared. Exactly the opposite. I was happy and relieved. I was finally done. No more hospitals, no more pain, no more sadness. Just peace. I only hoped that the doctors would be too late to save me this time.

Just as the alarms went off, I let the pleasant darkness take me.

 **XAV's P.O.V.**

I must have fallen asleep, because I found myself curled up on the floor. I felt wierd. I had this awful feeling inside me, that I've never felt before. But before I could even try to figure out what it was, my thoughts were interrupted by a blasting sound of an alarm, coming from my brother's room. My heart sank.

I jumped to my feet and rushed through the door. I knew the doctor was already on his way, but this was a matter of seconds. As soon as I looked at Zed, I thought I was gonna pass out. The breathing tube was disconnected from the ventilator, leaving Zed without oxygen. I glanced at the monitor. His oxygen levels were low. Too low. He was deprived of oxygen. _Brain damage._ Those were the only two words rushing through my mind over and over again.

I ran towards the bed and reconnected the tubes as fast as I could. "Breathe, Zed. Breathe!" I was screaming at my younger brother. I was freaking out. I stared at his chest. It was moving again. The machine was pushing air back into his lungs. He was getting oxygen. But what if I was too late? No! He was going to be fine. He had to be. I was trying to calm myself down as best as I could. Thankfully, the number on the screen was rising back into the safe level.

His eyes opened again and relief took over my whole body. "Thank god" I exhaled. "Are you crazy?! Are you trying to kill yourself?!" I was yelling at him. Suddenly, he started kicking and punching everywhere. I tried to pin him down, but it was like trying to keep a lion from eating you. Almost impossible. Man, he got his strength back fast, I could barely hold him down. His fist accidentally connected with the side of my face hard, knocking me back. He immediately yanked at the tube and managed to disconnect it once again, while he kept whirling around violently. "Zed, stop! You're gonna hurt yourself. You can get through this" I tried to talk some sense into him, but it was no use. He didn't listen.Then all of a sudden, he went completely still. The previously crazy alarm turned into a constant beep. Flatline.

The doctor finally rushed in with the nurses and started yelling orders immediately. I was pushed outside of the room and the door was slammed closed in front of my face. My brother's life was out of my hands now. I fell to the floor and let myself cry for the first time.

 **Another author's note**

 **I know, I know another cliffhanger. I'd hate myself too, if I were the one reading this story. Maybe it'll be worth it in the end...**

 **I just wanted to let you know in advance, that tomorrow is the day of the funeral, therefore I doubt I'll be able to post. Both because I won't have much time and because I'll most likely be a wreck. I'll try my best though.**

 **Love, N**


	14. Chapter 13

**XAV's P.O.V.**

I desperately needed someone to talk to or I was going to drown in tears. At least that's how I felt. So I reached out to the most reasonable person I knew.

 _Yves?_

 _Xav?! What's wrong?_ He replied immediately. He sounded worried, which made perfect sense. I tried to answer him, but the only thing that came out were more tears. _It's okay, Xav, I'm here. Let it out._ I was so thankful that he understood, because I really couldn't get a single word out even if I tried. We stayed like this for a while. I could sense his constant presence, but he didn't say a thing. Just offered me support as best as he could. A couple of minutes passed, before I calmed down a bit. When he thought I could breathe well enough to speak, he continued. _What happened, Xav?_

I inhaled deeply, trying to figure how to put this. I decided to go with the straightforward version of the truth. _He tried to kill himself._ It may have sounded very harsh, but there was really no other way of saying this. It was going to hurt and sting no matter how I said it.

There was a short silence, before he replied. _What?_ He was shocked, but luckily he managed not to freak out and panic like I did.

 _Before you left, you asked me what he said to me._ I trailed off not sure how much to tell him. Part of me wanted to keep this to myself, but the other couldn't bear the burden. It was too much to handle on my own. I needed to tell someone.

 _Yeah..._ he confirmed my statement, waiting for me to continue.

 _He asked me to take the tube out and let him d-_ I couldn't get myself to say the word. As long as I didn't say it, it felt less real. There was nothing Yves could say to that, so he patiently waited for me to go on. _He asked me to leave, so I talked all of you into going home. I must've fallen asleep in front of the room and the next thing I knew, alarms were going off._ I paused to regain myself. Here came the worst part. _He disconnected the ventilator._ There was no need for me to continue with the explanation. Yves could vividly imagine the rest on his own.

 _Are you sure it wasn't an accident?_ He tried his best to deny what I'd just said.

 _He did it twice._ I ruined his illusion.

After a pause, he continued. _Is it possible it was because of his head?_

Hang on... I hadn't thought about that. Maybe Yves was right and this was all going to pass. _Yes, depression can be a side effect of head injuries._ Yves had nothing to say to that. He was silently thinking, trying to digest everything I had just told him, so I decided to go on. _Yves, promise me you won't tell anyone. You can't. Not yet._ I knew he wouldn't agree with me on that, but it was for the best. I needed to protect Zed as much as I could. This was hard enough on him as it was. He was suffering.

 _Okay, I won't._ What on Earth? To my surprise, he didn't object. Instead, he kept me company telepathically for hours, but neither of us said anything.

 **XAV's P.O.V.**

It was a couple of hours later, at about one in the morning. I was sitting beside Zed, drifting in and out of restless sleep. Yves had fallen asleep a while back, so I was left to my own confused thoughts. I couldn't understand how something could change Zed from the goofy, hilarious and mostly happy douchebag he was, into a miserable wreck, who'd rather die than even try to fight this. It didn't make any sense. This shouldn't be happening. Not to Zed. Not to anyone. It was so unfair.

I kept going through the recent events over and over again. After I was pushed outside, the doctor managed to get Zed's heart started and he was taken for some scans to determine how much damage he had done to himself. To everyone's surprise, the scans came back clear. Well there was still evidence of bruising from his previous injury, but other than that... Miraculously, he didn't make it worse. He still had a long road ahead of him though. The recovery from such a severe brain injury itself was going to take time. Add the compications, the long coma, possible depression and his double suicide attempt... He was lookng at months of therapy. Both physical and psychological. That was going to be very hard on Zed. He always found it hard to sit still for more than five minutes and now, there was a good possibility he would have to relearn how to walk again. He might never return to the way he was before and that scared the hell out of me. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much it must've scared him.

I glanced up at Zed's motionless face and noticed his eyelids were fluttering. He was starting to come around. I moved closer to him, but kept quiet. Suddenly, his eyes flew open and were immediately looking from one side to another, confused and completely panicked. Poor Zed. He must've been so scared. I needed to try and calm him down.

"Zed?" I said as calmly as I possibly could, resisting the urge to either hug him or kill him.

 **ZED's P.O.V.**

"Zed, please talk to me. I know you can hear me." I looked down, tryng to find the source of the voice. Xav?! What was he doing here?! I thought they'd all left.

Wait... I wasn't dead, was I? No. Not even close. I failed miserably. Man, I couldn't even kill myself if I tried. I was completely useless. Everything I tried to escape from was still there. The annoyingly white hospital room, the tubes and wires, the constant beeps - everything. The agony was still as bad as before, and I was still very much trapped inside my useless body. But there was one big difference. When I tried to move, nothing happened. Was I paralysed? Suddenly my chest felt tight. I couldn't move. How the hell did that happen? What did I do? I wanted to move so badly, but there was nothing I could do. I was trapped and there was no way of escaping.

"They're giving you paralytics, so that you won't hurt yourself. That's why you can't move" Xav explained to me. "And before you ask, they're gonna keep you like this until you can be taken off the ventilator." Brilliant. So I was stuck like this for days, maybe even weeks or months. Or forever. A vegetable.

"You got extremely lucky, you know that?" Lucky?! Was he serious?! How was I lucky?! I was halfway dead, completely useles, not even able to breathe without a machine! He freaking called this lucky?! "You could've done some serious damage." Believe me, I wish I had. Maybe if I had ended up brain dead, they would've let me die in peace. But no, I was going to have to suffer for the rest of my life.

 _Zed please say something._ Xav decided to enter my head, but I didn't care. His sad and worried voice didn't mean anything to me. I may not have been dead on the outside, but I was dead on the inside.

 **XAV's P.O.V.**

Nothing.

He decided to keep ignoring me and drown in his misery. As long as he refused to talk to me, there was nothing more I could do to help.

Tears were running down my brother's cheeks and for the first time in my life, I felt completely useles.

 **Author's note**

 **Today was a crappy day for me, but I hope you all had a great day. I hope this chapter wasn't affected by my mood to badly...**

 **So, the other thing... This story is slowly coming to an end. I think there's only going to be one or two chapters left, which makes me kind of sad, because I really enjoyed writing it. If anyone has any requests for new stories, I'd be more than happy to hear. They can.be from other fandoms aswell, as I am planning on writing stories based on different books, shows or movies. I haven't figured out what I'm going to write next, so I'm very open-minded... Let me know (if you want).**

 **Love, N**


	15. Chapter 14

**ZED's P.O.V.**

"Damn it, Zed, will you please just talk to me?! Or is that too much to ask?"

I honesly thought Xav was going to leave me alone after the previous monologue he made. But how terribly wrong I was. After about ten more minutes of my silent misery passed, he pretty much started yelling in my face. At two in the morning. His little argument session has been going on for quite a while now, and he still hasn't given up on me. Even though I haven't said anything this whole time. What can I say, we're both hopelessly stubborn.

"Are you really gonna throw away everything and give up, just because it's hard? That's not the Zed _I_ know. That Zed would go above and beyond to fix every single problem, no matter how big it was." He was half yelling at me and half giving me a pep talk. It was rather confusing. "Trust me, Zed, there's so much left for you to live for." Yeah, like what? Spending my whole life tied to a bed? Sounds great.

I just wanted him to shut up and leave me alone.

"You're a piece of work, you know that? I bet you don't even care what anyone has to say. I might as well just leave. Maybe you'll fiind it easier to go through this alone." He stood up and stared at me for a while, hoping I'd say something. But I didn't. "You think I'm annoying. Maybe you'll like it better if I stop caring altogether." That hurt. He sure knew how to press my buttons. Man, he could always read me like a book. I guess that would never change. He hit me right where he knew it would hurt the most. He knew I loved my family more than anything. More than life itself. Suddenly I realised, Xav was now almost by the door, only two steps away from leaving.

 _Wait._ I said quickly, before he could leave. He immediately stopped and turned around, but didn't come closer. _I don't know what to do, Xav. I feel l like a different person. I can't breathe, I can't move. I'm worthless. I'm a nobody. Just a burden to everyone around me. It's better if I just die now and mke this easier for everyone around me._

"Easier? Zed, are you even listening to yourself? Because if you are, then you know you're being an idiot right now. Do you honestly think it would be easier on us if you were dead?" He paused. "Ever since the accident we all felt like a part of us was missing. Noone was joking 24/7, noone was getting into trouble or being annoying." Another longer pause. "Zed, this crushed us. All of us. And I can promise you that every single one of us would give anything just to have you back. We would give our life to save yours. Hell, I've been asking myself the same question over and over again. _What if?_ What if I'd forced you to stay at home? Or what if I at least hadnt't forced you to stay outside? Maybe I could've saved you if I'd only gotten to you faster." I didn't realise that. He was blaming himself for what happened. Now that I thought about it, it didn't surprise me. "And Vic's exactly the same. And Trace too. They might not say it out loud, but I know they are. And don't even get me started on Zoe. She thinks this whole thing's on her." My munchkin. I had to stop this. This wasn't right.

 _Xav, none of this is your fault. It's noone's fault but mine. I chose to go after you. Me. And I chose to go alone. It was stupid, but I made the decision. You shouldn't blame yourselves_ _. None of you._

Suddenly, I couldn't go on. My chest felt tight. Even though the machine was pushing air in and out of my loungs, I felt like I couldn't breathe. My eyes were getting blurry and I couldn't think straight. All of a sudden tears were running down my face. Xav was immediately by my side. I could hear him exhale heavily, before he grabbed my hand and squeezed tight to the point where it almost hurt. His other hand was on my chest, trying to soothe me.

"Look at me." I blinked a few times trying to clear my vision as much as possible and did what he said. He was talking slowly, so that I could understand him. Obviously he knew how I felt. "I'm here, right? I'm not going anywhere. And neither are the others. We're all here to help you, because we love you. And you matter to us. More than anything. So please, at least try. You can get through this." Even though his words were soothing, I still felt like I was suffocating. He paused a little, before continuing. "Let the machine breathe for you. I know it's hard, but don't fight it. Just let it do the work for you. Trust me." I did my best to do what he said and after a while, I was able to calm down. I let the air fill my loungs regularly.

 _When did you get so smart?_ I asked as sarcastically as possible.

"I'm glad you noticed" Xav smirked, before he continued seriously. "When I almost lost one of the most important people in my life."

I tried to smile around the tube as best as I could, but didn't say anything for a while. I've never really thought of this whole situation like that. From someone else's point of view. I guess it was rather selfish of me. I couldn't imagine how much this must've impacted all of them them. Seing me like this... it can't have been easy.

 _How is everyone?_

"Well, tired I guess. And shocked. Scared." He shook his head in disapproval of something he was seeing in his head, but I couldn't tell what. "When we found you, everyone sort of lost it. I went ballistic, forcing myself not to freak out when I realised, I couldn't help you. Trace froze, unable to do anything. Vic let his anger out on everyone around him, which ment he was really worried about you. Will and Uri were shocked, not sure what to do. Yves was the one who somehow managed to keep it together for everyone else. At least on the outside." There was still someone he hasn't mentioned. Was he hiding something from me? Luckily he continued, before I had to ask. "But Zoe... She could tell right away. She _knew_ something was wrong with you before any of us did. And when she saw you... she lost it." My poor munchkin. "I thought she was never going to stop crying." He couldn't go on. I knew this was killing him. He and Zoe were like two sides of the same coin. Very similar and more importantly, extremely close. I had to end this misery.

 _Can you do me a favour?_ I asked.

He looked at me with watery eyes. "Of course, anything." I knew he really ment that. He really would do anything.

 _Could you get everyone here?_

A smile appeared on his face, which I took as a yes.

 **Author's note**

 **I'm sorry it took so long dor me to upload. This past couple of days everyhing really hit me. I couldn't get myself to write at all... I'm really sorry.** **Thank you all for being patient and supportive. I honestly couldn't do it without your kind words (not that I don't appreciate criticism). I would have stopped writing by now for sure. Or at least I wouldn't post it publicaly.**

 **This next part goes out to the extremely kind person, who always leaves me touching comments, which make me both cry and smile. Since you're a guest, I have no other way of reaching you (I hope you don't mind me ecposing you like this - if ypu do, let me know and I will delete this part immediately)** **. So.** **Dear Llamacorn.** **You mentioned that you don't know my gender. Well I like getting to know you guys, so I will gladly tell you. I am a girl, my real name starts with an N and I have two cats ;) I too have lost too many people in my life, but two deaths hit me the hardest. My brother from another mother and my grandpa. I'm telling you this, because my grandpa died from dementia. He was the closest person to me right after my mom. It broke me. So I usnderstand how you feels. I know it's horrible. I always say I'd rather die of cancer than dementia, because dementia is so cruel. But at the same time it has changed me for the better. I look at things differently. And I appreciate them more. It also gave me some of the worst memories of my life, but also some of the best. For example, my grandpa had forgotten everyone months before he passed away, but he remembered me the very last day of his life. Noone else, except for me. The thought of it still makes me cry every single time, even though it's been seven years. I wish I could say it gets easier, but honestly, ot's always hard. Maybe it's because we had such a special connection... I don't know. I miss him and I always will. That's for sure. If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to reach out to me (I'm not sure how, but there have to be ways) and I'll listen. My best advice for you is have patience and try not to blame anyone for whatever happens. It's noone's fault. Listen to Ed Sheeran, if it helps you. Music makes it easier to cope.**

 **I wish you and your family all the best.**

 **Love, N**

 **PS You asked for Finding Sky from Zed's point of view. I really love the idea and will try to make it at some point. However, our library doesn't have the English version of the book and I would like to read that again, before I start writing the story from Zed's P.O.V.** **If I'm gonna take susuch a challange, I want to be as accurate as possible, not to change Joss Stirling's amazing book.**


	16. Chapter 15

**ZED's P.O.V.**

It was two weeks after the accident. Two weeks of me being stuck in a hospital bed. I was unconscious for the first half of this time and paralysed for the second. The 'it turns out not so annoying ventilator' was still doing all the work for me, but that was about to change today. At least that was the plan. I was now able to stay awake for a few hours at a time, which was a total win compared to a few days ago, when I couldn't even last ten minutes.

As promised, Xav had immediately called all my siblings, even though it was the middle of the night. They all rushed into my room minutes later and pretty much haven't left since. They were taking turns in staying with me, either talking to me or watching the TV from the uncomfortable hospital chairs. I found out Yves was the only one (apart from Xav) who knew about the whole suicide attempt thing. He never told anyone, which I was very thankful for. It was something they needed to hear from me when the tube came out.

Suddenly, my doctor walked in with a smile plastered on his face. "Good morning. It's good to see all of you together" he greeted us. He was right. The whole family was here. Mom and dad were finally able to come, and all of my siblings wanted to be here when they extubated me. "How are you feeling?" the doctor continued, while checking my vitals. I gave him a little nod. "Great. How about we try to get that out of your throat?" Finally! I rolled my eyes in response. Was he kidding? I couldn't wait. He understood my reaction correctly and chuckled. "Got it. So, here's what's gonna happen. I'm going to turn off the ventilator and let you breathe on your own with the tube still in place, okay?"

Xav must have noticed my confused expression, because he quickly stepped in before I could full on panic. "Don't worry. It's just in case. You've been dependant on the ventilator for so long you might stop breathing again. But we'll worry about that later, if it comes to it. No need to stress over it now."

 _I promise_ he added telepathically. I calmed down a bit.

"Alright. If you can breathe strongly for about an hour, we'll take the tube out. Are you ready?" the doctor checked with me one last time, so I blinked twice. "This might feel a little wierd, so just try to stay calm and focus on your breathing." I could hear the heart monitor was beeping faster than usual, which didn't surprise me at all. I had every right to be scared. This was a matter of life and death. Xav and Zoe were each holding one of my hands, while the other brothers were watching from distance to give us some space. My parents were standing at the foot of the table, dad hugging mom from behind. Zoe smiled at me reassuringly as the doctor walked over to the machine that had been kepping me alive for two weeks and turned off the switch.

The air was gone immediately. And it didn't come back. That freaked me out. A lot. It was scarry, not being able to do the basic thing in life. Breathe. I tried to make my chest rise, but it wouldn't work. My heart was racing and my thoughts were all over the place. What if this doesn't work?

 _Come on, Zed, you can do it._ That was my lovely sister, trying to encourage me. Sadly, it wasn't helping, since there was absolutely nothing I could do. My body didn't obey any of my orders. Everyone was looking at me, hoping to see my chest rise, but nothing happened. I could feel the tention in the room growing.

 _Calm down, Zed_ Xav stepped in. To think that just one week ago, I purposely made myself feel like this. Twice. What was I thinking? Right now, I would give anything to have air in my loungs again.

An alarm went off, informing everyone that my oxygen levels were too low. And apparently they kept falling. "I'm sorry, I need to turn the ventilator back on" the doctor announced reaching for the switch.

My brain went into panic mode. I could not let that happen. No more shoving air down my throat violently. _No!_ I screamed to Xav, who quickly got the message.

"Wait!" he more or less scared the doctor. "Give him a little longer. Please" he begged instead of me.

The doctor didn't look happy, but went with it. "Twenty more seconds and then I'm switching it back on." Alright. Twenty seconds. That's more than enough time. I can do it.

20, 19... I counted in the back of my head, just to keep track of time.

 _Come on, Zed_ Vic's voice appeared in my head.

A second later my mom joined in as well. _You can do it, sweetheart._ It was really nice knowing that everyone was supporting me as best as they could, but that didn't change the fact that I still couldn't get my lungs to work. And I was running out of time.

18, 17...

 _Focus._ Xav was back inside my head in his doctor mode. _Focus only on breathing in._ And so I did. I tried to find the right part of my brain, which would instruct the muscles in my chest to move.

16, 15, 14, 13...

Nothing was happening.

12, 11...

Why couldn't I move? I was starting to feel fuzzy and black dots were forming in the corners of my eyes. My brain was starting to lack oxygen. Quickly.

10...

Half of the time was gone already. I had to figure this out quickly, or I was gonna be a vegetable for the rest of my life.

9, 8...

I couldn't let that happen. Not because of me, but because of my family. They were all counting on me.

7, 6...

It was all up to _me_.

5...

I can do it.

4...

Just one breath and then it's all done and over with.

3...

Come on.

2...

Work with me.

1-

There it was.

My chest suddenly moved and the air filled my lungs. It was surprisingly painful, almost as if the air was made of acid, but I didn't care.

 _That's it. Keep going._ Xav was encouraging me. I could hear everyone exhale in relief, while I struggled to exhale and inhale again. My eyes were watery from exertion. I never knew breathing could take so much out of you. I always took it for granted.

The doctor was checking my vitals again and using his stethoscope to listen to my breathing. "Deep breaths" he instructed. My lungs were still sore from the chest tube and my broken ribs hurt whenever they moved, so I kept taking shallow breaths. That'll have to do for now. "You're doing great. I'll be back in an hour to check on you" he added before turning to Xav. "If he starts struggling..." There was no need for him to finish, for Xav apparently knew what he ment.

After the doctor left, everyone cradled around my bed. They were happy and so was I. Finally, I was one step closer to.being me again. It felt amazing, but I felt exhausted. Having to think about every single breath did that to you. I wanted to sleep so badly, so I closed my eyes.

"Hey" Xav shook my shoulder. "I'm sorry to rain on your parade, but I can't let you sleep yet." I had to admit, it made sense, so I settled for staying awake despite being dead tired.

 **ZED's P.O.V.**

An hour later the doctor was back, looking at the monitor with a pleased expression. "Everything seems to be going well, so I'll make you a deal." He paused to make sure I was listening. "I'm going to take the tube out, but I need you to promise me something. Your lungs will be tired from working so hard, so you need to keep an oxygen mask on for a few days, okay?" I blinked twice. "I mean it. Don't take it off like last time-"

"Believe me, doc, I will kick his ass myself, if he does" Zoe interrupted him and everyone laughed.

"Good. I'll hold you to that" he replied. "Okay, let's save you from that thing, shall we? I'm going to count to three and I need you to cough as hard as you can on three, deal?"

"Wait" Yves interrupted and everyone's attention turned to him. " _On_ three or _after_ three?" he said a bit sarcastically and everyone laughed. The genious was quoting Lethal Weapon. Best timing, I gotta say.

"You cough _on_ three and I'll suction and pull it out _after_ three, okay?" the doctor explained and I blinked twice. He emptied the balloon at the end of the tube with a syringe and removed the tape holding the tube in place. "Ready? One, two" this was finally happening. I couldn't believe it. "Three." I forced myself to cough and immediately felt something slide through the tube. There was a sudden pressure, sucking all the air and mucous out of my lungs. So that's what suctioning felt like. It hurt like hell. I felt like my lungs were going to be vacumed into the tube.

After that torture part was finished, the tube started sliding up my throat, which was very uncomfortable as well. I probably would have puked if there was anything inside my stomach. Every single move the tube made irritated my throat, so I was pretty much gagging my heart out. My eyes were screwed shut, but I could feel tears sliding down my cheeks. The whole thing couln't have lasted more than ten seconds, but to me, it felt like an eternity.

The next time I opened my eyes, a mask was covering my nose and mouth providing me with oxygen. My lungs were finally breathing effortlessly (at least compared to the agony before) and completely on their own. My throat felt like it was on fire though and I was thirsty. As if someone had read my mind, a straw appeared in front of my face and supplied me with pleasant cold water. That had to be Xav.

The doctor was gone now and my whole family was circled around my bed again with worry and relief plastered on their faces at the same time, but nobody spoke up.

 _Hey._ Except for my munchkin of course. _It's good to have you back._

 _You too_ I replied, refering to her being kidnapped almost three weeks ago and me not being there for her when she needed me the most.

"I thought I told you not to die on me." Xav interrupted our twin moment by teasing me. I chuckled, which made me wince, but for all I knew, it was worth it. Finally being able to laugh felt good. I opened my mouth to respond something equally stupid, but he stopped me "Don't try to talk yet. For once listen to what I say and give your throat a break." So I did.

Everyone flooded in with questions considering how I felt and if I needed anything, but my body was disagreeing with my desire to answer. Thanks to the whole 'relearning how to breathe again', I was extremely tired. My eyes were starting to shut, which didn't go unnoticed by Xav. "Get some rest, okay?" he said hile gently tapping my shoulder. "We'll talk later." And with that everyone shut up to let me sleep. But there was still something that needed to be said.

 _I love you guys_ I broadcasted to my whole family. _Thank you for being here._ They all responded, before going back to their usual poistions. Zoe holding one of my hands, Xav the other, all my other brothers sprawled all over the room, mom and dad at the foot of the bed, probably not letting me out of their side ever again. So much has changed in the past few weeks, but I realised that deep inside, we were still exactly the same as before, and that's when I knew.

It might not be tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day, but it was all going to be okay in the end. That I was sure of.

 _THE END_

 **Author's note**

 **So, this is where this story ends. I hope you enjoyed it. I sure know I loved writing it.** **Seing how many emotions reading it ignited in you is surreal. It's honestly the best prize I could ever wish for.**

 **Unexplainable thanks go to Joss Stirling, who came up with these characters and wrote such amazing books for all of us to read, and gave many girls all over the world hope that real gentlemen still exist and that there is someone out there who is going to love us endlessly.**

 **Let's face it. As cheesy as it might sound, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you** **either** **, therefore I really am thankful to every single one of you.** **Thank you for reading and reviewing, but most of all, thank you for being there in 'the darkest of my times'. You have no idea how much it means to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry for everything hard that you are going through. Thank you for sharing your stories with me and know that I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Remember, you are tougher than you think.**

 **From now on, I will be answering any of your reviews, questions or requests (I am more than open to requests for stories, even from other fandoms) in the reviews section** **, so keep an eye out for those if you want.**

 **Thank you again. I wish you all the best.**

 **Love, N**


	17. Another author's note

**Author's note:**

 **Whoever's reading this, I'm sorry for getting your hopes up, sadly this isn't a new chapter. I've decided to respond to the last review I recieved on this story and since nobody (except 17 year old me) ever writes their responses in the review section... If you have any better suggestions on how I may reach this person, please let me know. Thank you for reading.** **Anyway here's my response:**

 **Dear guest,**

 **I'm not sure if you're ever going to see this, but here's my answer to your question...**

 **First of all, thank you, I'm glad you liked it and thank you for reading and revierwing. I really appreciate it.**

 **Secondly, you're a very thorough reader, I'm impressed. To be honest, I completely forgot about including that (apparently I am a very forgetful person), which I only realised months after having finished writing the story and that is why I decided not to go back and fix it. I was going to take a very different route at the beginning, so if you want I could tell you what I had in mind at that time, though it has very little to do with the story this turned out to be. I hope this answered your question.**

 **Love, N**


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